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Author Archives: Mokoena Nkosinathi Percy

About Mokoena Nkosinathi Percy

I am young growing Industrial Sociologist and Public Policy student from a dusty neighborhood in Mpumalanga known as Siyabuswa. I Love God with all my heart! I am also a young growing writer.

The Twins Idols Campaign shows our lack of Priorities.

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What I am about to say people wont like it but it’s fine.

The campaign for bringing back the idols twins has reached 73 000 likes on Facebook and the number is growing. People are in love with the idols twins and they are talented -that is a fact. I am not by any chance against the twins, I loved them myself however, I understand that this is a competition and anything can happen.

Here is my problem, given the right platform for people to campaign or sign a petitions; they don’t. I will give you a simple illustration: The unemployment rate in South Africa and corruption incidences especially from government officials are ridiculously high yet no one March to the parliament or create a Facebook page against that. I can give 100 examples of issues that affects us on daily basis and make people lives a living hell but we do not stand up and say NO!

Interesting enough is that the needs of the few has outweighed the needs of the many. I recently met a teenager who is a sole breadwinner and support his brothers and sisters because his parents were murdered in cold blood while they were made to watch by criminals. This is a true story. The suspects as he said “were released on bail and they are walking around free while we watch them”. No campaign, no Facebook page, No March, No petition for their bail was handed over. A young girl was ganged raped by guys and they were all released because the so called community was scared to testify even though they have been victims before. Maybe our Justice system is crap, so are we!

Seems like our priorities have shifted from the Ubuntu driven model to self enrichment. How does the coming back of the twins going to change the situation in this country. ooh…maybe I am asking a wrong question, perhaps I should rephrase it. Why is it so important for people to campaign for things that don’t change the needs of the many but are more eager to campaign for the things that change needs of the few.

In the past, there are many people who entered a competition such as Idols and deserve to win but they did not. After 100 auditions, the reality is that only one person(s) will win. Funny enough is that people don’t succeed in such competitions because people whom are supposed to vote for them do not vote most of the time. Not to mention that other candidates might good as well.

I wish you guys all the best in your campaign but deep down in your heart, I want you to ask yourself one question: Is what I am doing a need of the many or the needs of the few. I am sad to see people stand up for such because given the right time to do so, they don’t. Like me or hate me or thumbs down, I will say it like it is. I am not always right but neither am I ignorant.

Again, I am not against the twins, I used it as an illustration yet I have an issue with the way people stood up for it. Why they don’t do the same in other incidents that affects us all, the ones that prohibit us to sleep an night peacefully. The ones that makes our lives a living hell. why?

We constantly claim the government is so bad but I for one think we people are worse.

 
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Posted by on September 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Open letter to everyone who still have parent(s).

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Dear human being with parents.

Recently, I had a chance to have a depth conversation with someone I know and she opened up to me about his pain that has been haunting her since 2004 after her mother past away. She said:

“As I listen to a pastor in 2004 delivering a Eulogy, I couldn’t stop myself from crying as he said these words “those who use to touch her, will never touch her again

Such statement reminded me of the depth of my relationship with my mother. It was quite hard to accept that you won’t see the person again or even touch him. That intimate relationship you had, its just gone!” [tears]

It is quite a touching story and with her permission,  I was able to share it to everyone as it convey a very significant message and I am certain that it will mean something to someone out there.

I have seen so many people dis respecting their own parents that it gives me a right to inscribe this article. The other day i was in the mall and I could not believe what i saw. Teenagers talking with their mom as if their talking to and idiot or child. I was astonished and I wonder why some people are so ungrateful.

If you’re one of those…let me ask you a simple questions; how do you think you will feel if you lost a chance to say “happy mothers or fathers day” To someone again? If you didn’t had anyone to say it to.

There are some things you take for granted yet they are very important.

Her last words were, “to cut the matters short; respect your parents while you still have them. Life without parents is very hard. When people talk about their parents, you just keep quite as if you didn’t hear anything. Can you imagine that life?”

Respect them while you can still see, touch, and make conversation with them. Life is too short to disrespect your parents.

Sincerely
Messenger

 
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Posted by on August 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Is Lobola still relevant?

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Lobola is an age-old African custom that is as alive today as it was 100 years ago however; certain aspects of it have changed.

Lobolo or Lobola in, ZuluXhosa and Ndebele (Mahadi in SesothoRoora in Shona, and Magadi in Northern Sotho), sometimes translate as bride price, is a customary Southern African ritual whereby the man pays the family of his fiancée for her hand in marriage. (Compare with the European dowry custom where the woman brings assets.) The tradition is designed for bringing the two families together, nurturing shared admiration, and signifying that the man is proficient of supporting his wife money-wise. In addition, it is also regarded as one of the pillars that should grip the two families—and particularly the couple—sturdy.

Customarily, the Lobolo compensation was in cattle as cattle were regarded (still are to some tribes) as crucial mark of wealth in African society. However, numerous contemporary urban couples have altered to using hard cash.

Culture changes – with time, life gets more expensive and love is now for those with good credit – or am I exaggerating? The custom of lobola has evolved into an overpriced extortionist cultural practice. Lobola was a cultural practice where a man thanked the parents of his future wife, for raising her from a girl to a woman.

The obsoleteness of this cultural practice has raised a lot of questions as many people starts to question the relevance of it. Fana the Purp (2012) argues that lobola should be cancelled, as it is about affordability instead of culture and love.

“The parents had no right to demand an unreasonable amount for lobola, as the man is going to take care of their daughter. As culture evolved, lobola turned into a fixed payment process to acquire a wife then later turned into negotiation battle – where the woman’s family tries to get as much as they can from the man’s family. The nature of lobola moved from thanking to compensating – I am not disputing commodity involvement yet lobola has adopted an inflation system.”

Others argues that “ If it was up to me I wouldn’t let my man pay a cent, I think the lobola is unfair, nobody has to pay money to be with someone they love. Money or no money, people who love each other should stay together”

 

In contrast, a friend of mine contends that “We cannot have a blanket approach to it. Every man should be happy to pay lobola, we should see as your pride and assurance to the family that you can take care of their daughter. It reasons sufficient then if we are to conclude that every man’s case should be valued independently.”

The reality of the debate is centered around money. People(s) question the notion of attaching money to love. Is it worth it?

We live in the world of divorce, this Lobola money is none refundable and the criteria used to measure the value of the woman are flawed. People like to hide behind the name of culture, they do things that are logically insensible and say “it’s my culture”.

My question to you is, do you think culture should be a determinant factor if two people who love each other have to be together or not? In the age of economical dependence, how much do you think is an appropriate price and why? Is Lobola still relevant?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against this custom, I just need clarity. DR Martin Luther King would say: “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”. It is an issue that matters to many South Africans including the fact that there are trans-racial marriages nowadays. One can marry any one no matter the pigmentation of their skin.

 

 

 

 
 

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When you’re IN LOVE…take a note!

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Recently, I was observing some behavior from people whom classify themselves “In love” and it was such an educational quest.

Talking to someone I know and asking so many questions like a teen-aged girl, a close relative of mine opened up to me about his love life. What I found more interesting is the idea that in his relationship there were rules or bounds that he and her wife set for their relationship to last that longer.

They been together for 9 years and their still going strong. He contends that to learn some things about relationships, one ought to be in a relationship and must go through it to get to it. “Experience is key” he argued.

Talking about the bounds of which I found interesting and I think it could strengthen some relationships.

1. Never switch off your phone

Many couples tends to switch of their phones or cut communication when they’ve been fighting. fights are part of relationships, learn that and apply it. can you imagine a relationship where you’re always happy, no disagreements whatsoever?  No matter how angry you are, try to listen to your partner side of the story. There is always a story behind everything. Don’t rush to react, keep calm and try to digest the problem at hand. Communication is a very key element in a relationship. Pushing your partner away when there is a quarrel in your relationship might be “disastrous” if I use his own words.

2. Swallow your pride.

To many human beings lack the ability to swallow their pride. As a human being, you need to learn to learn to apologize. There are people with the tendency of being irresponsible. You know you have done something wrong, ask for forgiveness. Some people, in their own world their always right. You cannot be always right or perfect for that matter. its okay not to be perfect, learn and accept that from time to time. If you have done something wrong, accept that and ask for forgiveness and the important part is not to repeat the same thing again.

One of the sweetest things he said was that “sometimes I would be wrong but when I ask for forgiveness, and she will also ask for forgiveness as if she did something wrong”. Isn’t that so sweet? To see couples argue about being sorry. I can imagine the conversation goes like this “I’m sorry…No I’m sorry”.

3. Appreciate small things.

It is very important to remind your partner how beautiful she/he is as much as you can. Learn to appreciate small things that might not mean anything to you. Call her in the middle of the night if you’re away just to tell her that “I love you or I miss you etc” to show her that you do think about him/her. An early sms reminding your partner how you feel about him/her in the morning might brighten his/her day. Be that person that wants to put the first smile in his/her face every morning.

Respect the things your partner admires or like. If he is in to sport or soap, spend a weekend in a couch with him watching his favorite program. Learn to like what he likes in that way you enter his/her world.

4. Spare some time.

If there is one thing that one cannot take back or rewind then it has to be time. Time is very essential yet it is one precious gift that you could give to someone. Don’t be a high away, always busy kind of a person. Put everything aside and make time for that one person.

 We dwell in the new technology world, please gentleman; put that Playstation aside and spend some quality time with your partner. Think about this possibility: what if its her last day on earth and you are just ignoring her for a game? How are you going to live with yourself afterwards?

Okay I agree FIFA is not just a game but if she is around, spare some time.

Ladies, that chatting can be spare aside; put the cellphone aside when he is around. Give the unimpaired attention. Put your partner first, its for the best!

5. Listen to each other

Some people are just the Chuck Norris of the relationship. They want to take all the major decisions solely as if their on that relationship alone. Drop the bossy attitude and listen to your partner side. Let him/ her have a say about things that concern his life. Listen and value his/ her opinion.

Let her have a say, listen to him. Don’t develop an attitude that is perpetuated by the social construction such as “woman speaks a lot” it is totally rubbish he said!

These are basics that I found more interesting and willing to apply them. I thought I should share for others to learn something. As they say “take what you think is yours or applicable to your life” and leave the rest to others.

 
 

Leadership, where art though?

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I wrote this article in reference to an article inscribed by a columnist Khaya Dlanga on the 28th August 2011 titled “South Africa has no leadership” (http://www.news24.com/Columnists/Khaya-Dlanga/South-Africa-has-no-leadership-20110928).

The title of Khaya Dlanga article says a lot about what I want to say. Recently, I attended a talk about role models. One of the speakers whom I cannot call to mind his name said “No celebrity should be anyone’s role model… Parents should be the role models.” It was a very sturdy statement that meant something for me and I am convinced that most individuals will appreciate what it denotes. If parents are real models nowadays is another question to ponder on. I know there good parents out there but the real question is how many?

I brought this parent issue in order to contend that leadership commence at home. Kids are what their parents want them to be, their behavior can be always tracked to how they were groomed. Leadership at home is necessary. This could be achieved through good parenting.

Before I move forward, I think it is important to say that I am not a member of any political party at this moment.

What bothers me the most are the emerging leaders or what we call leaders in this country these days. Few months ago, Kenny Kunene publicly admitted on a national television that he is a Casanova. Kenny Kunene, as a businessman that most young people up look to (They shouldn’t) and he is always in a public eye, it would have been better if he was not treating woman like material things.

Funny enough, the same Kunene who was eating Sushi on top of a naked woman is thinking that he can lead South Africa. There is this new political party they call EFF (Economic Freedom Fighters) which is led by Julius Malema. This is the same Malema who was found guilty of corruption and he owes millions of tax, his property was auctioned few days ago. Recently, he publicly said that the tender system should be scrapped after he benefited from it. These are the people who want to lead South Africa.  Do we have leaders? Real leaders where art though? We need you! These are just power hungriest and attentions seekers.

Reflect on the following, Zuma was in a rape case few years ago, Bheki Cele was in a corruption case, Zwelinzima Vavi is also in a Rape Case, Julius Malema was in court for corruption charges and hate of speech, recently the Justice and Constitutional Development Minister Jeff Radebe has released the names of police officials convicted of fraud and corruption. The list is countless and all of these people are expected to be in the full front as leaders. It is such a shame!

I am afraid to see what will take place in South Africa soon. What is more shockingly shocking is the fact that more than thousands people are now part of the EFF nonsense! A friend my friend posted on his Facebook wall “Those Who Failed To Obey They Can Not Command.” Someone wants a land for farming yet he cannot even water a tree or plant spinach.

If these people wants to lead us or we call them leaders, I am forced to conclude that we do not have leaders in South Africa. Khaya Dlanga was right. Leaders where art though?

 

 
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Posted by on July 29, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

“My coffee is cold-blame the apartheid”

As more columnist sarcasm to the inscription of debacle piece(s) of witting, I would like to step aside from that agenda and appeal to a more personal ascription. In 1994, we all know that I our beloved country was crowned with a transformation mandate which lead to lot of changes ranging from governance to a way of living.

In year 2000, Nelson Mandela said: You have a limited time to stay on earth, use that period for the purpose of transforming this country to what you desire it to be. The question I have been pondering on is; have I done enough to contribute to the transformation of this country?

Conversely, few years ago I was involved in a township tutoring programme as a volunteer through an organization as a tutor.  One of the most agonist periods was when I learned that statistics suggested that most volunteers in the programme are student from out of the country in comparison with South African citizens.

As a South African, you dwell in this country, you see the blunders everyday. What gives you the right to crinkle your hands and watch? Don’t you think a little bit of Mentorship, Tutoring or voluntarism could make a huge different firstly, in someone else life, the country socio economics status and your own life? What gives you the authority to just point fingers and not stand up and be the difference that Gandhi advocated for?

Recent events have suggested that even our own government shifts the blame. The trendiness of the statement such as “blame the apartheid” has been very trendy. What constantly obscures me is the relevance of the statement in the context at which it’s being used. We are approaching the stage whereby people will start saying “my coffee is cold-blame the apartheid”. We all know the apartheid after math, yes it is a vital history of this country however, we need to start blaming ourselves as well. For instance, statistics contends that there are over two (2) million households are now headed by a child in SA.  What changes have contributed to such agonist circumstances?

We live with these people under these conditions, they are our neighbors yet we decide to just observe or make comment about them. We are so self-centered; the self-effacement in our lives has weakened so hastily. What happened to humanity? What happened to putting other people’s first?

Lately, I read about a great man Jose Mujica whom is considered the world poorest president. Mujica is the President of Uruguay who donates who 90% of his salary to charity. He was elected in 2009, but he has no interest in taking on the grand presidential lifestyle. According to the BBC, Mujica donates 90 percent of his salary to charity and lives in a farmhouse off a dirt road where he and his wife work the land themselves. The austere leader earns $12,500 (app R 111971.21) a month, but only keeps $1,250 which is about 11197.12 for himself, he told the Spanish newspaper El Mundo, according to a translation by Univision.

“I do fine with that amount; I have to do fine because there are many Uruguayans who live with much less,” Mujica told the paper.

He focuses his giving on helping the poor and small entrepreneurs.

Lately, I was asked a question by a friend that got me thinking. It goes like this; “If you were to live Earth now, what is one thing that your society will remember you by?”  I could not answer…

However, I dream to be the generation of Steve Biko, deceased but never been forgotten. He is constantly being quoted and his ideologies are constantly revisited. Remember this; you have a limited time to stay on earth, use that period for the purpose of transforming this country to what you desire it to be. Stand up and do something. Don’t be self-centered, not everything has to be about you. You country needs you.

 
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Posted by on April 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

In Pursuit of Self less leaders…

In pursuit of selfless leaders, I found a role model…

Few days ago in one of tutorial session there was a robust debate that emerged on the subject of self less leaders in South Africa. Many argued that “maybe in an ideal world we have them” but not in this South Africa we dwell. As a someone whose always in pursuit of knowledge, I went to do a little bit of research and as I was reading about a story of a wonderful man tears dropped to my key board.

The story of Uruguay President has touched me deeply. The President of Uruguay donates 90% of his salary to charity. Uruguay has an impressive GDP considering it’s the second-smallest nation in South America, but its president lives more like a pauper –- on purpose.
Jose Mujica, 77, was elected in 2009, but he has no interest in taking on the grand presidential lifestyle. According to the BBC, Mujica donates 90% of his salary to charity and lives in a farmhouse off a dirt road where he and his wife work the land themselves.

The austere leader earns $12,500 (app R 111971.21) a month, but only keeps $1,250 which is eleven thousand, hundred and ninety seven and twelve cent (app R11197.12) for himself, he told the Spanish newspaper El Mundo, according to a translation by Univision.

“I do fine with that amount; I have to do fine because there are many Uruguayans who live with much less,” Mujica told the paper.

He focuses his giving on helping the poor and small entrepreneurs.

“This is a matter of freedom,”Mujica told BBC. “If you don’t have many possessions then you don’t need to work all your life like a slave to sustain them, and therefore you have more time for yourself.”

Mujica also seems intent on impressing his philanthropic ways on other world leaders.

While speaking at the Rio +20 United Nations Conference on Sustainable Development in June, Mujica espoused his philosophy on poverty and consumption.

“If all I’m doing is working to buy things to get more If society of consumption is the energy of everything, where does this go?” he asked. “We need to start to fight for another kind of culture. … Seneca said that ‘a poor person is not someone who does n’t have very much, but the person who really is poor is the person that continues to need more and more and more and desires more and more.'”

Don’t you wish we had more of such selfless leaders in the world? We need more of his kind. I was really touched by his lifestyle and the care he has for citizens. If only African Presidents would look up to him… then Africa would be a peaceful and rich continent. If only our South African president Jacob Zuma could see this,this is a selfless man who’s doing it because it actually means something to him not what he’s gonna gain from it.wow,even I would like to learn from him. For me, he is the richest person in the world due to his heart of caring about others rather than himself.