Recently, I was observing some behavior from people whom classify themselves “In love” and it was such an educational quest.
Talking to someone I know and asking so many questions like a teen-aged girl, a close relative of mine opened up to me about his love life. What I found more interesting is the idea that in his relationship there were rules or bounds that he and her wife set for their relationship to last that longer.
They been together for 9 years and their still going strong. He contends that to learn some things about relationships, one ought to be in a relationship and must go through it to get to it. “Experience is key” he argued.
Talking about the bounds of which I found interesting and I think it could strengthen some relationships.
1. Never switch off your phone
Many couples tends to switch of their phones or cut communication when they’ve been fighting. fights are part of relationships, learn that and apply it. can you imagine a relationship where you’re always happy, no disagreements whatsoever? No matter how angry you are, try to listen to your partner side of the story. There is always a story behind everything. Don’t rush to react, keep calm and try to digest the problem at hand. Communication is a very key element in a relationship. Pushing your partner away when there is a quarrel in your relationship might be “disastrous” if I use his own words.
2. Swallow your pride.
To many human beings lack the ability to swallow their pride. As a human being, you need to learn to learn to apologize. There are people with the tendency of being irresponsible. You know you have done something wrong, ask for forgiveness. Some people, in their own world their always right. You cannot be always right or perfect for that matter. its okay not to be perfect, learn and accept that from time to time. If you have done something wrong, accept that and ask for forgiveness and the important part is not to repeat the same thing again.
One of the sweetest things he said was that “sometimes I would be wrong but when I ask for forgiveness, and she will also ask for forgiveness as if she did something wrong”. Isn’t that so sweet? To see couples argue about being sorry. I can imagine the conversation goes like this “I’m sorry…No I’m sorry”.
3. Appreciate small things.
It is very important to remind your partner how beautiful she/he is as much as you can. Learn to appreciate small things that might not mean anything to you. Call her in the middle of the night if you’re away just to tell her that “I love you or I miss you etc” to show her that you do think about him/her. An early sms reminding your partner how you feel about him/her in the morning might brighten his/her day. Be that person that wants to put the first smile in his/her face every morning.
Respect the things your partner admires or like. If he is in to sport or soap, spend a weekend in a couch with him watching his favorite program. Learn to like what he likes in that way you enter his/her world.
4. Spare some time.
If there is one thing that one cannot take back or rewind then it has to be time. Time is very essential yet it is one precious gift that you could give to someone. Don’t be a high away, always busy kind of a person. Put everything aside and make time for that one person.
We dwell in the new technology world, please gentleman; put that Playstation aside and spend some quality time with your partner. Think about this possibility: what if its her last day on earth and you are just ignoring her for a game? How are you going to live with yourself afterwards?
Okay I agree FIFA is not just a game but if she is around, spare some time.
Ladies, that chatting can be spare aside; put the cellphone aside when he is around. Give the unimpaired attention. Put your partner first, its for the best!
5. Listen to each other
Some people are just the Chuck Norris of the relationship. They want to take all the major decisions solely as if their on that relationship alone. Drop the bossy attitude and listen to your partner side. Let him/ her have a say about things that concern his life. Listen and value his/ her opinion.
Let her have a say, listen to him. Don’t develop an attitude that is perpetuated by the social construction such as “woman speaks a lot” it is totally rubbish he said!
These are basics that I found more interesting and willing to apply them. I thought I should share for others to learn something. As they say “take what you think is yours or applicable to your life” and leave the rest to others.